Do you feel pride or shame in sharing your idea/business?

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Wendy Manzo on April 14, 2009 at 7:51pm

who are you? well if you're the person whom people feel better and more confident after speaking to... then yes, you are the right person!
you know what they say.... if you turn around and people are following you - then you are a leader...


Tiana Krenz said:

Hi Teri,

We haven't met yet, but your husband has told me a lot about you:). I'm a stay-at-home, homeschooling mom of three.

It sounds like we have even more in common! My last two babies were also born at home. In fact, today marks three years since my first homebirth.

Maybe it is because of my less-than-conventional parenting choices, but I find myself being asked for mothering advice all the time. I don't really feel that qualified--I make a million mothering mistakes every day, but I find that most mothers don't trust their own God-given abilities. They need someone to tell them, "You're doing a great job. Seriously, you are."

You talk about parenting with intention. I've never heard that phrase before, but it sounds like what we strive for here, too. I don't think it is being a perfect parent that makes you qualified to talk. If that were the case, we'd all have to shut-up! As a mentor of mine once said, sharing the truth is about one beggar telling another beggar where to find bread.

:)Tiana

Kevin Miller (48Days.NET Host) said:

Who are you to teach/lead parents? Well, mom of 6 kids that you've birthed...the last two at home. Homeschooler, dance teacher, everyone comments on how well behaved and amazing your kids are, they all love on and take care of eachother, you look like a college girl who hasn't had even one kid...you have been made and positioned to teach others...

Teri Miller said:

Completely grateful, proud, & blessed to tell that my husband is a business-owner, entrepreneur, free agent - and that I can focus on being a mom. But to share that I dream of (and am passionate about) teaching/leading others in parenting...nope, I'm fearful. Seems kinda pompous or something, and I feel embarrassed - like, "who am I to be an authority on parenting???" And yet - authority or not - I feel so doggone convicted about parenting with intention, and so want to spread that passion to others! In time, in time...

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Permalink Reply by Wendy Manzo on April 14, 2009 at 7:54pm

oh i can relate to this story! people who laugh at you.... but a year later they are still in the same place and you're streets ahead.... but the thing is, you haven't shared the journey with them, because you don't bother going back to talk about what you're doing - even if you are proud, there's still the 'stigma' - so you both miss out...


Kevin Miller (48Days.NET Host) said:

I had a guy...actually a friend who I do appreciate, refer to 'self-employed' people laughingly as 'voluntarily un-employed.' Not too many months later he was cringing when his employer laid off 300 people and he barely made the cut. He got to keep his job where he makes 1/4 what I'll make this year, commutes 45 minutes one way to work everyday, gets his little 2-weeks of vacation, works on someone else's agenda, sits in a cubicle (literally) amongst about 40 others...

Obviously I'm quite prideful of what I do.

One thing that helps with all this, is having a clearly defined offering...your NICHE. Be able to easily state what you do, and point folks to a website that showcases your business and has testimonies.

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Permalink Reply by Rob Clinton on April 18, 2009 at 6:49am

Good question Kevin, and her's my feedback. When I'm with a group, I use to feel not ready to spill it out until I had everything together. This comes from tough lessons learned in the past when I did fail a business, and appeared to everyone as a failure. That was really odd for a moment there. I had talked it up throughout the whole process, and said yeah I'm going to do this, and yeah I'm going to that.
I tried to elicit the help of friends and family (which turned out to be a bad idea). So people starting looking at me as this successful entrepreneur (with no contracts signed), and then Wham!
So since then I've been very careful about letting the cat of the bag to early. But when is the right time?
I'm starting to think its when I have everything together and I'm ready to promote I'll first start singing to the target market, and then move to the social groups for some leverage. And then friends, and finally the extended family.
I can't keep secrets from my immediate family, it just doesn't work. I don't think I have a very good poker face!
But outside of that, I feel the people who are going to be the most resistant to my endeavors are the people that love me most. So I tell them last. Does that make sense, or sound backwards?

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Permalink Reply by Kevin Miller - Free Agent on April 18, 2009 at 10:36am

Wendy - right on! All the folks with no gumption and plenty of doubt, will stay right where they are.

Rob - sharing with friends and family is just unfortunately...difficult. Usually. As Jesus said, we're least respected in our own town. They just see you as...you. Now I must admit, my wife, after years of failures and successes, is now my biggest supporter. And I have close friends who are amazing encouragers and have faith in me. But I don't spend time trying to convince everyone close to me. I just go do it.

But having your plan together...especially up on a website that clearly communicates what you do...then the biggie...getting a literal testimony or two...those are huge for credibility, believability and faith from others.

OH...and writing a book. That one is actually funny. You can preach a message you believe in for years, and get no respect. But put it in a book, and all of the sudden it's gospel and you are important. Weird, but true.

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Permalink Reply by Rob Clinton on April 18, 2009 at 12:17pm

Makes perfect sense. Thanks for the encouragement there Kevin!
What an absolute reminder of what Jesus said. How true it is!
Also reminds me of why it's hard for a local music band to get recognized sometimes, but once that local band gets a gig in another state or country, all of sudden they're a Headliner all the way from Amsterdam.

I like the going national idea myself ;)

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Permalink Reply by DeAnna Cohen on April 18, 2009 at 2:55pm

I usually feel shameful but I tell it any way. In the past I would not say anything to anybody because most of the people in my life are not in that type of mindset so it is very difficult to talk to them about my ideas. That is one reason I joined this network

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Permalink Reply by Jen Smith on April 19, 2009 at 12:41pm

Interesting responses to this. I am trying to break free of being hesitant to share my thoughs and ideas with others. It is has sort of become my mission to encourage people to go ahead and be themselves. There is no shame in that. It's absolutely freeing. So thanks for the reminder.
Jen

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Permalink Reply by Jared Matthew Kessler on April 20, 2009 at 10:23am

Hey Kevin,

I really think that depends on the group.

I'm careful to share what I REALLY DO around people who aren't supportive (because they don't care - and that can really hurt ones feelings that TRULY believe they are pusuing "their calling"). However, in groups that DO want to hear... you need to (if in this scenario, one isn't filled with pride in what they are working on, I'm thinking they might want to change that idea UNTIL they are). :)

Hope that helps.
-Jared

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Permalink Reply by Bill & Crystal Smith on April 20, 2009 at 3:38pm

I try to start out focusing on them, not me, asking questions about themselves, then, when and if the opportunity arises they are more open because I gave them my time and attention. It helps to find out about others before you tell them about you, it's a way to find out their needs and if you have something that they could use.
God Bless,
Crystal
bign.com/bcls

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Permalink Reply by Sharon on April 23, 2009 at 4:22pm

You know whats funny? I saw this question and started to answer it. I would have been the first responder. I deleted my answer because I was afraid I might be the only one who is hesitant to share my website or business. (I wouldn't say shameful)

Sigh.... I was actually hesitant to be the first one hesitant.... kinda funny if you think about it.

I agree with the person who said that she is proud excited about sharing of her husbands business. Me too. But for myself... I guess I fell as if I have to prove it first.

Sharon

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Permalink Reply by Emily Chase Smith on April 24, 2009 at 2:12pm

I'll be honest with you Kevin, I'm a bit embarrassed because my business is not mainstream and doesn't yet generate income. It's not a bowling alley or bookstore and is all virtual - there's no office or anything tangible. I think many of my family and friends think it's "cute" and perhaps a phase. There are a few people that really get it and are amazingly supportive. I gravitate to them when discussing the business or floating ideas. Also, because my business is aimed at mothers, others often don't relate to the concept. Hope that helps. Emily

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Permalink Reply by Emily Chase Smith on April 24, 2009 at 2:16pm

I relate Rob. My business had many phases and is only now fully launched. It took about 6 months to get all the pieces into place. I told family and very close friends, but until I had more to show, I was very hesitant. I still am to a great degree, but especially in the early days.

Rob Clinton said:

Good question Kevin, and her's my feedback. When I'm with a group, I use to feel not ready to spill it out until I had everything together. This comes from tough lessons learned in the past when I did fail a business, and appeared to everyone as a failure. That was really odd for a moment there. I had talked it up throughout the whole process, and said yeah I'm going to do this, and yeah I'm going to that.
I tried to elicit the help of friends and family (which turned out to be a bad idea). So people starting looking at me as this successful entrepreneur (with no contracts signed), and then Wham!
So since then I've been very careful about letting the cat of the bag to early. But when is the right time?
I'm starting to think its when I have everything together and I'm ready to promote I'll first start singing to the target market, and then move to the social groups for some leverage. And then friends, and finally the extended family.
I can't keep secrets from my immediate family, it just doesn't work. I don't think I have a very good poker face!
But outside of that, I feel the people who are going to be the most resistant to my endeavors are the people that love me most. So I tell them last. Does that make sense, or sound backwards?

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