Developing Self Confidence

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Dawn Blair on December 9, 2008 at 10:26pm

Hi, Jeff.

I just finished the NYIP course myself. I do a lot of landscape photography, but I know what you mean about lacking confidence. My weak area is portraits, and as you probably know, NYIP stresses the portraits. I started looking at portraits in books and magazines, then I took these ideas out along with my oldest son and started taking pictures. Basically I was getting practice in. When I finally went to do the assignments, I had an easier time since I'd gained confidence in posing someone. I also took pictures of my friend's children (which she used on her Christmas cards this year), so being comfortable around them helped me. I think that's important when you're starting out is just to use people who you know. They will have more patience with you, understanding that you are learning. It's really great if they can give you honest feedback as well so you can see what someone else views as "working" or "not working." And most importantly, don't be afraid to laugh at yourself while you're working. It helps to loosen everyone up.

There's also contests. I had several people around me who saw my photos and told me how good they were. I felt like it was all beginner's luck because I had no clue what I was doing with the camera. Literally. I hadn't even been able to read the owner's manual because I didn't understand what they were talking about with things like F-stops. That's why I took the NYIP course -- the encouragement made me want to learn more. After reading the first unit, I went out and snapped a picture that won 1st place and Best of Color Photography in the professional division of a local contest (I also had photos that won second and third places in other divisions). One thing I should note is that I had to enter the professional division because the rules read "Anyone who has ever priced prints for sale." By the time I entered the contest, I'd had enough feedback on my photos to convince me to set them up on art.com and I'd actually sold several prints though not nearly enough to feel "professional" by my terms of the word. Still, it's a cool story.

There are many places to sell your prints online. Sign up for one and see what comes of it. You'll get great feedback from people. And, when you're around other professional photographers, just asking questions is a great way to make them feel like you want to learn more. Feed your hunger -- chances are they'll love to talk shop too.

I hope this helps and good luck!

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Permalink Reply by Jake Fox on December 12, 2008 at 5:27pm

Dawn, you have been more helpful than I can say. I greatly appreciate your taking the time to reply here.

I will re-read your post a few more times to let it further sink in.

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Permalink Reply by Skip Huntress on December 14, 2008 at 6:29pm

Jake,

I often joke that the biggest difference between you and me is that I've shot more pictures than you. Practice my friend will lead to confidence. I was a nervous wreck during my first wedding and to make it worse I ruined it. Very bad and I don't recommend shooting weddings with no experience. I've been a photographer since 1983 and I've shot everything you can imagine. In the old days the way to get started was to work as an assistant for a professional photographer. After about 2 years the photographer might let you shoot for him/her. With digital photography the learning curve is much faster when it comes to exposure and composition. Unfortunately the photo industry is struggling and you will have a very hard time trying to find a photographer to train you as you will be his competition in 6 months.
I believe that almost every photographer I've met even famous ones are happy to share because we all love what we do. Join PPA or WPPI or ASMP and start going to their meetings and seminars. You will learn a lot by networking.
We are all self conscious as artists but as you get better and are appreciated for your work, you will build confidence.
The most amazing thing to me is to see arrogant photographers brag about their talents when they are not talented. So don't do that.!

Skip
www.skiphuntress.com

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Permalink Reply by jane anderson on December 15, 2008 at 9:44am

Hi Jake,
Just read your note and i too, love photography, my area of interest is horses. I've contemplated doing the NYIP courses and wonder since you took it you could recommend it or not. As far as confidence, just go out there and take pictures and show them to as many people as you can. Joining local photography groups helps too as there generally people of various levels of ability who you can network with and learn from.

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Permalink Reply by Lynn Jacobs on December 15, 2008 at 8:30pm

Hi Jake,

You might want to reflect on why you feel unassertive or have a lack of self-confidence so that you can then discover the root of the matter. Does it come from a fear of failure? Is it a faulty mindset that tells you "you're not good enough"? Do you need additional training regarding certain aspects of photography? I find that once I identify the underlying factor(s) of an issue, I can then work to overcome that fear or mindset, or work toward gaining the knowledge and/or experience that may be lacking in a certain area.

I hope this helps.

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Permalink Reply by Deby Dearman on December 16, 2008 at 11:31am

Jake - I just sent this letter to the Artist's Arise group a few days ago. I think it addresses your issue.

Last year Joanne Miller and I met for lunch. She brought along a friend who was a photographer like me. We had so much fun sharing our dreams and getting feedback that we decided to meet on a regular basis. This meeting is now affectionately known as the ‘Creative Connection’! We now have 5 ladies - 3 photographers - 2 writers. We’ve had heart to hearts, shared our biggest dreams . . . the ones we’ve never told before and shared our frustrations . . . the things that seem to hold us back.
Over the last few months we’ve all made tremendous strides. It seems that all of us lacked confidence. We all just needed honest feed back to give us the courage to believe in ourselves. . . then we could step out and take action.
I’ve grown so much from this group and it’s simple to do. Just find a few friends and get together on a regular basis. Make sure they are folks whose artistic opinion is one you can trust. I’ll write more about this soon but want you to give it some thought.

Hope you are enjoying the holidays! Use your artistic gifts to make things special!

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Permalink Reply by Joe Welch on December 16, 2008 at 12:27pm

Hey Jake,
I think the title says it all, "Developing Self Confidence". The passion is what drives you to pursue your dream and on that journey self confidence will be developed. I started doing photography about a year ago when my wife bought me a digital camera and now I can't put it down! I too have a passion for photography and I have taken thousands of photos in this short time, a few are good and many are not so good! I think that any pro photographer you talk to will tell you that most of them feel the same way you do even now, it's all part of growing into the photographer you will be some day! I too want to start my own business in photography and look forward to doing so in the near future, until then I will keep on clicking!
I wish the best for you on your journey and can't wait to see your work someday soon!

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Permalink Reply by Brian O'Keefe on December 17, 2008 at 7:06am

Jake,

In some cases, the old model of "apprentice" is a good way to go. Find someone that is good at what you want to do, and seek their advice and/or learn from them. Short story: My dad was always involved in photography, and he and my mom owned a couple photo development labs when I was very young. When I was about 12 or 13, my dad gave me an old camera and I became the family photographer. Eventually I inherited my uncle's enlarger (given to him by my dad) and started doing B&W development in my closet. The year after my dad died, I was asked my uncle about how he got started as a wedding photographer, since there's really no margin for error when you're a beginner and shooting someone else's once-in-a-lifetime day. To my surprise he said, "Your dad taught me everything. He let me tag along with him when he was doing weddings." I never knew that my dad had ever taken wedding pictures!

So, perhaps you can find someone to "shadow" for a week. You'll certainly gain confidence, and perhaps even realize that you're more ready than you think.

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Permalink Reply by Steve Deutschmann on December 17, 2008 at 10:42am

Jake,
I think you're okay feeling a little doubtful. Doubt, when focused properly, can cause us to do a better job. We become more detail oriented. The other thing I would say to you is a story about a friend of mine, or actually about his wife. She is a very talented landscape photographer. Galleries around the country ask for her work and she has never shown it. She refuses to show her work. She does her work for her, not because someone wants it. As a result she refuses to be in a position to meet demands. She produces what she wants when she wants. And she is always busy and makes very good money.

Nice place to be, right? Here's what is interesting about her situation. She has doubts. She wonders if her work is very good. Yet she is on the level of some of the greats. People like John Sexton, Ansel Adams, and others (she specializes in black and white photos like them). Once you see her work you can't understand how she could doubt her ability. But her doubts drive her to better work.

The other thing you need to remember that beauty really is in the eye of the beholder. One time years ago I had a friend ask me if I thought his new girlfriend was pretty. I asked him why what I thought mattered. What mattered was what he felt. If she is beautiful to him, that's all that matters. Art is just like that. I may not like what someone else chooses. But your work is personal and unique. Just because you're work is newer or different from someone else's doesn't make it lesser. Some people will prefer your work. And they won't know or care how long you've been working. They may just wonder why you waited so long to get into photography. Go for it and know that confidence comes from experience. But don't ever get too confident as that is when we get lazy. Good luck!

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Permalink Reply by Jack Russell on December 17, 2008 at 6:56pm

Dan Miller said:

Jake -- this is a very common issue. I recently did a 212Connection teleseminar on this topic of not having enough self-confidence.
Here are some quick tips:
If your confidence level is such that you tend to back away from others who are already doing what you want to do, you:
• are not likely to accomplish anything others will find worth noting
• will have little passion, joy or enthusiasm in your life
• will struggle finding any way to increase the size of your bank account.

Do these things:

1. Be prepared for change

2. Convert worry time into study time.

3. Do something you love – and do it with excellence.

4. Plan for – and expect – excellence in all areas of your life.

5. Be careful of listening to other people trying to hold you back.

6. Be a “front seater.” Sitting up front builds confidence.

7. Walk 25% faster.

8. Practice speaking up.

9. Smile big – You can’t be depressed or frustrated if you smile big.

In the classic little book The Magic of Thinking Big, David Schwartz says – “Try to feel defeated and smile big at the same time. You can’t. A big smile gives you confidence. A big smile beats fear, rolls away worry, defeats despondency.”

There is a component of confidence that your response leaves out; that of having others believe in you. Granted, there are some who are able to launch themselves into the abyss and have no apparent fear of failure. On the other hand, I, for example, have been who I am, trying to get "noticed" for what I can contribute, have only once during a career that has spanned 25+ years,had someone want to hire me for my core talent (it didn't turn out that he was able to hire me) . Neither have I ever gotten a promotion to a position that utilized my core competencies. Having not been able to sell my ability - which is not a hidden thing - to the people I work for how am I to believe I have what it takes to make a mark on my own? Because I have been unable to benefit from my "uniqueness" I struggle to have enough confidence to go out on my own. And yes, I do those things you listed. It would appear that what I believe is irrelevant or wrong because it isn't working. Sometimes confidence is not enough. One needs a champion who is in a position to advocate for you based on their personal belief in you and being in a position to do something for you to support their advocacy.

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Permalink Reply by Bill on December 17, 2008 at 7:54pm

Dawn,

You really broke it down well.

Sometimes you don't feel like you have a clue next to the "pros".

I see that you got yourself out there and wow!

Thanks
Bill

Dawn Blair said:

Hi, Jeff.

I just finished the NYIP course myself. I do a lot of landscape photography, but I know what you mean about lacking confidence. My weak area is portraits, and as you probably know, NYIP stresses the portraits. I started looking at portraits in books and magazines, then I took these ideas out along with my oldest son and started taking pictures. Basically I was getting practice in. When I finally went to do the assignments, I had an easier time since I'd gained confidence in posing someone. I also took pictures of my friend's children (which she used on her Christmas cards this year), so being comfortable around them helped me. I think that's important when you're starting out is just to use people who you know. They will have more patience with you, understanding that you are learning. It's really great if they can give you honest feedback as well so you can see what someone else views as "working" or "not working." And most importantly, don't be afraid to laugh at yourself while you're working. It helps to loosen everyone up.

There's also contests. I had several people around me who saw my photos and told me how good they were. I felt like it was all beginner's luck because I had no clue what I was doing with the camera. Literally. I hadn't even been able to read the owner's manual because I didn't understand what they were talking about with things like F-stops. That's why I took the NYIP course -- the encouragement made me want to learn more. After reading the first unit, I went out and snapped a picture that won 1st place and Best of Color Photography in the professional division of a local contest (I also had photos that won second and third places in other divisions). One thing I should note is that I had to enter the professional division because the rules read "Anyone who has ever priced prints for sale." By the time I entered the contest, I'd had enough feedback on my photos to convince me to set them up on art.com and I'd actually sold several prints though not nearly enough to feel "professional" by my terms of the word. Still, it's a cool story.

There are many places to sell your prints online. Sign up for one and see what comes of it. You'll get great feedback from people. And, when you're around other professional photographers, just asking questions is a great way to make them feel like you want to learn more. Feed your hunger -- chances are they'll love to talk shop too.

I hope this helps and good luck!

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Permalink Reply by Dawn Blair on January 17, 2009 at 7:57pm

Bill, I really hope it helps.

Sometimes it's hard to see the path before you when you know where you want to be but just don't know how to get there. Hmm- maybe this is why all my current paintings have paths in them, you think??? Or maybe you aren't even clear where you want to be. I'm in that boat right now. I know I'd like to be a successful artist, but I'm not certain I know where I'm going or if I'm sitting here rowing with one ore around in circles. I've had a lot of people tell me that they like my art, that it's beautiful and inspiring. But it's not getting me further down my path.

Which brings me to responding to another posted comment here. Jack Terrier mentioned that people with unique abilities need a champion on their side, that confidence alone won't help. I have two responses to that. Yes, it's nice when someone else acknowledges a talent. It bolsters confidence, especially when the ego feels shattered and just needs a moment to pull itself together. But if you are looking to find someone else to hold you up like Atlas with the world on his shoulders and to keep your own confidence from being crushed, then you will never get anywhere. Other people do not create your happiness -- happiness/confidence/whatever is something you create, or more appropriately, you CHOSE to create. And when you choose to create, you have to ACT up on the change because there would be no need to create if you already had what you wanted.

Okay, so you say you've gone through the steps of putting yourself out there but no one notices you. You have Eeyore all over your post. Every word drags it down with "oh no, not again." I find it hard to believe that you have no successes in regard to your unique talent. Someone has had to notice you for you to go, "Oh, yes, I do have a unique talent." You wouldn't know that it was unique if someone hadn't said or done something. So, what is that success? Is there more? Make a list. Review it every day. Don't just tell us, "I have a unique talent." Tell us what that talent is. Put it out to the world. I'm a newbie artist really because I've only been painting for a few years. My art style changed in the middle of last year. I had a real downturn in confidence for several months. I look back at the stuff I did a year ago and wonder how I ever thought that crap was sellable. I'm amazed that it did sell as well as it did. Is this the face I put out to the world though? No!!!! I put myself out there as an artist with every confidence in the world even if I don't always feel it. I strive to keep learning more, keep growing. I am creating myself and my life. I make mistakes. I wish I could call back several of my pieces and burn them -- they should never have left my studio. They should've never been shown to the world. And I'm certain that next year I'll feel that way about the art I'm creating now. But if I let that thought stop me, that thought that I don't know enough and that I shouldn't be selling my art right now, I won't paint at all. I'll be frozen instead of growing. I have to walk blindly forward. Because I put myself out there every day and keep hoping for the next step in the path for me to be lit as I walk it, I get the positive responses I need to carry on. I also know from my stats that a lot of people are looking at my art and walking away. I take this as, "My art just isn't for them." Art is subjective. But no one's ever come up and said, "Your art stinks. Oughta break your paintbrushes in two. Don't quit your day job." I'm sure some day that will happen. Fortunately, I have a thick enough skin to not be bothered by it, another aspect I've created to survive in the art world. Not everything is for everyone and I'm good with that. So maybe when you're putting yourself out there with your unique talent, it's just not for them. You have to keep going.

Now, yes, I do agree that Dan's list was weak. I thought that the first time I read it and the reason for it is because it's too abstract. It's an overview. You have to fill in the blanks. Let's take #2 on the list for example: Convert worry time into study time. Great, but what does that mean? Well, in the case of the photographer, that might mean reading his camera manual, reading a National Geographic magazine, reading Outdoor Photographer, taking pictures of the dog and experimenting with lighting, panning, close-ups, fine art shots of the claws (see the cracks in the dog's pads! - new martian landscape), etc. You have to chose what you're trying to create and fill in the blanks. You have to put in the work -- no one is pushing me to the easel in the morning and putting the paint brush in my hand and telling me, "Okay honey, here you are. See how I support you? You're the best." Ain't happenin'!!!! Once again, I have to do it. I have to chose.

Author/photographer Cay Lang said it very well. I'll sum it up. You either chose to be working at your talent or you chose to suffer because you're not working at your talent.

Even if you don't know the next step, even if you have to take a leap of faith, even if you don't know where your journey is necessarily taking you but you know you're on the path, you've got to keep working at it.

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